{To Jinyoung...the things that I can't bring myself to tell you...But this is also to the strangers who may never understand.​}

​

I keep feeding myself lies. For what? For happiness of course.

It's easier to ignore the truth...

And I would rather forgive you than let you go.

But how long can I fool myself?

You say sweet words to me, but those words aren't for me.

But then I realized something..something I didn't want to believe.

I only want to believe what isn't real.

​

What if I am just in love with the idea of love?

What if I am just hanging onto you because I know I will miss the good memories we made if I left?

I would want you back....I would forget why I left in the first place.

​

Do you not really not know what you do to me?

I can easily protect myself from feeling more pain, but I keep searching for a reason to get hurt.

I am addicted to the pain I am feeling.

​

My insecurities... They follow me and make me want to control every part of you. 

Why can't you say the things I want to hear?

You are smiling at my pain...

That smile keeps pulling me into the depths of hell.

​

I want to wake up.     

I want this to end.

It's too much.

Stop stabbing my heart...

There is already enough blood spilled.

I know you know...You just pretend you don't.

I wish you could feel this.

This pain. This rage, 

I hate myself for feeling too much.

I want to die..I don't want to deal with these emotions.

If you can't finish me off, then let me do it.

​

— Mark